I have a bunch to say….Most exciting…..TWO MONTHS from today I will be a a wife! EKKK! Isn’t that exciting. I can not wait. We are so close yet has so very much to do. Tonight I am going for my first fitting. I am excited. I have my Hot Pink Crinoline in the car ready to go! I will try to get pictures of it under my dress.
In 10 days is my Wedding Shower. My sister is keeping the guest list all hush hush and won’t tell me who is coming. I do know we have had about 40 yes RSVPs including kids. I am very disappointed in someone I thought was a good friend (like family). She is not coming because she will be at the Ocean and “She only gets to go to the Ocean once a year”. WTF….I only have a Bridal Shower once a lifetime. Also her trip to the Ocean is from Wed. to Sun., she can’t come home 24 hours earlier to be part of my special day? Whatever! I mean I understand 100% that she can not come to my weddings. Shoot over 100 of the invited guests can not make it, we do have about 30 of our closest best friends and family coming. I just can not understand her not wanting to come, not wanting to be part of my wedding in some way. Pete got mad when I was so upset and wanted to scratch her off of the reception list, but I told him no, that we can not do that. My feelings are extremely hurt though.
I am so excited about my shower though I am not letting this one downer ruin it all. Laura, Nikki & Crystal are working so hard to make sure that the shower is perfect! I have wanted a shower (more then a wedding when I was younger) for like 15 years. I can not believe my shower is so close! I have a pretty dress to wear and I am even going to order an orchid for my hair. I am so lucky to have the best friends (and the best sister) anyone could ask for. These girls would do anything for me. They are so wonderful for hosting such a special Party!
My shower is on my Mom’s birthday. I plan on going to the graveyard the morning of my shower and taking her a big bunch of flowers. I want her to be part of this day so much. I am glad my shower is on her Birthday, it kind of honors her. If she were here with us it would be her 64th Birthday. It is so weird because she always was so young. Even though she was older then most moms she had the energy and spunk of a woman half her age. I had my first “Missing my Mom” cry yesterday in a long time. I needed someone to go with me to my dress fitting today and everyone seemed to be busy. When I asked my Dad (he is going by the way) he was all weirded out cause it was a girls thing and what not. I just started crying thinking about how I didn’t want him to go, and I didn’t want anyone to go, I wanted to be going with my Mom. I hate doing all this with out her.
I read recentaly some one mentioning losing a parent and she was slammed in her comments about how she needs to move on and get over it. Well I have news for that commenter, until she loses her MOM, her biggest supporter and best friend she can keep her mouth shut! Until you live it you have no idea the pain that comes with it. You do get on with your life, look and Laura and I (me?) we are well adjusted and have made great lives for ourselves, have good jobs and good men in our lives. We do not however have our Mom. There is a whole piece missing out of our lives that will NEVER be filled and a person can’t get over that. I know when my Mom first died Laura and I were so angry with God. We stopped going to church and Laura even said she didn’t believe…..I am sure that pissed my Mom off big time, she sacrificed so much for us to go to Catholic School. But as time went on I forgave God and went back to church. Laura got married at my Mom’s church and is having Alyssa Baptised Catholic. We talked about it a bit and how can you look at the miracle of a baby and not believe. I am still angry that my Mom isn’t here and doesn’t know Alyssa or Pete, the two most important people in my life. I am however, very glad she never had to live through all the mess with my EX. She would have killed him. I seen her jump the fence and hit the neighbor once when the neighbor called me a Bitch. LOL It was funny after the fact, expecially since her and the neighbor remained friends. LOL
So as of now they are predicting rain the day of my Shower. Since it is outside this is horrible, but it is ten whole days away and the weathermen have a hard time predicting weather that is 2 days away so I am not worried, yet! I know my Mom will keep the rain away!
Last night I stayed up way too late talking to a friend on instant messenger. She is planning her Disney Cruise Line Wedding for May. I hope by some stroke of luck Pete and I are about to go. I doubt it though. I was also watching Sarah Palin give her acceptance speech. Wow can that women give a good speech. I was entertained and agreed with so much she had to say! I have no doubt in my mind that she will be able to juggle being a mom and a Vice President. I loved how she mixed jokes in with criticism of Obama and still hit important issues. I don’t fault her because her 17 year old is knocked up…..please we all know at least one “good Kid” who got knocked up in high school and 99% of the time it was of not fault of their parents! I have filled my request for an absentee ballot since it is also exactly 2 months for the election!